Blowing off the dust of my LJ

For one more thought...
Looking forward to 2012.. Vigil is no more, but I am graduating in May..
The stress in my life is limited, though I really wish I could just make things easier..

There are other things that I can't really air out, but if anyone cares to know just msg me on facebook..
I believe that some of you on the internet have a vague idea.

But I digress.. off to a new adventure..
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rock out

snowed in

The plan for today, is to maybe draw a bit, watch bad horror movies and possible writing some thoughts out.
Also shoveling... more shoveling..
I am fighting a slight depression wave, thinking about a lot of things. Trying to not distract from any internal processes, so I am just keeping to myself for a while.
At least I have some things to look forward to...
like, eye dr. & I figuring out stuff
more dr. to talk about depression meds, so I need to do a ton of research before I cross that bridge.
I am going to be finishing school, though finishing my major is up for debate. I may just go for my Liberal Arts degree and call it an accomplishment. Especially since I am very eager to start Assistant Managing at a restaurant and that the career path I want. I think going that direction will be worth while. Then possibly getting my MBA in 2 years or so, once I've got a plan and hope to save some money for it.
There is also the whole trying to acquire a waitress job again has been very vexing. My job just had me start training, but I am still needing the extra hours. I am having trouble making ends meet, but my family has been surprisingly generous. It has been helpful for me getting by. But I am keeping my hopes up that one of these waitress jobs I have applied for will interview me. There is one place, though its in the South End, I'd have to get a car to work there. There is great potential there, they said that when they like my attitude and when I am done with school they could look into having me be an assistant manager. I am hoping for something closer to home, but the opportunity with room to grow is hard to pass.
In other news I want to go out to the clubs again, but need to figure out some balance in the agreement I made with Matt. But thats a whole different thing, and I am really trying not to stress to much about things anymore.
Been meditating a bit more, and doing my yoga. Trying to work out and find motivation to work out has so far been internally rewarding. Though I still feel like I am doing it wrong, but the meditation has been really worth while. I started doing all that to classical music, its been really nice reconnecting with myself.
Actually going to ballet on Saturday and start belly dancing on the 19th. So that will help motivate me. Plus that will make up a bit for the dancing at the clubs I'll be skipping out on. Other than that, still thinking about things, and the break up.. things are still rather rocky.. hoping I can negociate a time to go to ceremony, I want to go and suppourt and see my friends. I really want to go to the steam punk night, but I don't think that will happen.. we'll see though.
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  • Current Mood
    restless restless

there is so much that has happened.

where do I begin?
the big news if it hasn't been made clear. I left Matt, the details are still rather grey and there is still a lot of unresolved issues between us.. So I am hoping we can both figure things out.
Spending our first NYE apart after 6 years was really rough. Plus getting through the night was... difficult... and thankfully I had really great friends to help me through it. These last couple of weeks have got me thinking a lot and I still need to do a lot of soul searching before the weekend.
Hoping that the emotional toll this is taking on the both of us will find some resolution. Now that the elephant in the room has been addressed. Next step is working on everything else.
Here is what my plan is.
Be Happy, Be patient and remember to love myself (new mantra)
Settle the car
Starting & Finish Classes with a good average
Starting Ballet & Belly Dancing
Working out & Meditation again
Spending more time with my family
Skydiving for Hilly & my 27th in May
(Once I start waitressing again)
Save for Business, Re-invest in stocks
Save for the Caribean (Thanksgiving 2011)
Save for other travel (Fall '11 or Spring '12)
Save for other great investments
Look into Piano lesson (save for piano)

will sleep when I am dead

[Unknown LJ tag]

1. What did you do in 2010 that you'd never done before?
Walked out on a job

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I don't remember what I had as a resolution. But if I make some for this year I plan on keeping them

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
They are close to me in a way, and a lot of babies happened

4. Did anyone close to you die?

5. What countries did you visit?

6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010?
Courage in myself

7. What date from 2010 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
There are lots of important dates that all have certain meanings

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
One semester closer to finishing my BA

9. What was your biggest failure?

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
sort of

11. What was the best thing you bought?
I think art supplies

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
My own

14. Where did most of your money go?
Bills and food

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Living on my own

16. What song will always remind you of 2010?
Only Girl

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? Sadder.
ii. thinner or fatter? Fatter.
iii. richer or poorer? skirting by with what i have

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
following through and being true

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Self-pity, and doubt

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
With my family

22. Did you fall in love in 2010?
Its complicated

23. How many one-night stands?

24. What was your favorite TV program?
united states of tara

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?

26. What was the best book you read?
By the bog of cats

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
dub step

28. What did you want and get?
more hours at work and my degree

29. What did you want and not get?

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
paranormal activity

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
partied with friends... 27

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
not syre

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2010?
mod/hipster *hangs head in shame

34. What kept you sane?
nothing yet

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
cyberbullying and other politics involving gay rights

37. Who did you miss?
FBC. and family

38. Who was the best new person you met?

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010:
stay true to yourself


Consumed by Facebook

There has been to many months that have past since I've posted and sadly not much has changed. Life is at a stailmate, and thats not a bad thing, really. I am going to start working more on myself and school, this semester has suffered some minor distractions and I am hoping to get back on track. It would be nice to get on deans list again.
In other news the new apartment is nice, roomies are great and my life is becoming less stressful.

There will be a real update soon, Just saying hi and I'm alive

With some luck..

There has been a break in my family mystery, though there are some whole that need to be filled. Right now I am looking into information about my Grandfathers wife and seeing if my father has any half siblings out there in the world.

I don't know her surname though, anyone have some pointers. Any kind of help is needed.

More of a public post.. Helping Dirge

Room(s) for rent, in a lovely apartment on Waterhouse St. in Somerville, Ma

$500 per person

N*Star gas and electric as well as Comcast TV/Internet/Phone $100-$200 per person a month depending on usage.

One block from Massachusetts Avenue, Route 16, and the hub for the 87,88, and 89 bus lines. Walking distance to Davis square and Alewife. Within ten minutes of 93 and 95.

All located within a five minute walk; a super market, two gas stations, four convenience stores and several restaurants / pizzerias.

Rooms / Amenities:
Three bedrooms, two common rooms, kitchen & bathroom. For storage we have a back porch and a large room in the basement. The apartment also has the option of an additional bedroom and bathroom in the basement that can be added to the lease for $500 a month. Additionally as part of the lease to the apartment we have exclusive access to the driveway for the property. The driveway is single lane but it does fit three cars. The neighborhood also has extensive space for resident on street parking and passes for visitors.

Personal Info:
I don't smoke or drink. I have no pets. During the daytime I work as a pharmacy technician at night I DJ and promote for nightclubs. I'm a fairly quite and private person. When I'm not out of the house working (which is rather often) I'm usually in my room working on my computer or with my DJ gear.

I'm looking for two or three potential roommates. My primary concern is finding people who can cover their share of the bills/rent in a timely manner. My home is my safe haven so finding people I can trust is important to me. Generally my rule for roommates tends to run along the "as it harms none do as you will". If you are interested please feel free to contact Dirge I can always provide more information as needed. Also if you know someone who is looking for a place feel free to pass this along
Contact me if your serious about living here, and I will send you to Dirge.